


Selfish

by Jusbene



Series: Forever Together: Sylvix [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Engagement, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Flashbacks, Gay Rights, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, POV Felix, Post-Blue Lions Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Romance, Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Strong Language, also he's got a lot of bullions to spend, archbishop byleth is a saint, but also sad, felix being called "my lord" is excellent, felix thanks her every single day, i like a mix of both, sylfelix, sylvain is a hopeless romantic and it's so damn cute, sylvix - Freeform, the unnamed woman is the reflection of that lady weve all met, very sappy and fluffy, yknow the one that says youll change your mind when youre older
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 03:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20959481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jusbene/pseuds/Jusbene
Summary: Felix meets up with a familiar woman in his homeland. Their nostalgic conversation quickly turns bitter because she's old school. Felix thinks about the events of the past as he marvels at his precious new possession.





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic ever! So I wrote this up at work while on my lunch break and finished it when I got home. I was imagining the beginning of it would be a nice short comic I could draw but no, I had to go and write a whole short story. I proofread but I've never posted a fic before so please excuse any past/present tense errors. I did my best to make sure you can tell where the flashbacks go. 
> 
> Also, I might make a followup chapter, I'm not sure.... I just want this to feel like a standalone piece even though I totally want to add an epilogue.

Back in the eastern lands of Fraldarius, a woman in the village spots Felix making the rounds. He has returned home to get comfortable leading up to his big day. The woman has not seen Felix since he had been sent off by the late Duke Fraldarius to assist his comrades in the war. She is so very pleased to catch sight of him.

“My Lord! Welcome back home! How have you fared?”

“Oh, it’s you,” Felix says and flashes a subtle smile at her, reminiscing of the past. “I am quite well, thank you. And yourself?”

“Oh, it’s that time of year again, just preparing my summer crops! I’ll be sure to bring you a fresh batch as I always have for you and your brother, goddess rest his soul,” The woman exclaims excitedly, then as realization casts over her features, she looks at him with a more serious face. “M… my Lord, My sincerest condolences regarding your lord father. I heard the news but… the ceremony… I couldn’t find a way to come to the funeral without getting close to the war zones.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Felix scoffs. “And save your kind words. You know how I felt about him. My feelings haven’t changed. Even in his last moments he didn’t even look at me to acknowledge I was there. He only wanted to talk to our king.” The navy haired man didn’t want to be reminded of that day in Gronder field. As much as he resented his father, his sacrifice still weighs heavy on his heart. Damn her for bringing this up.

“Ah, right… I understand,” she says sweetly, forcing a smile to clear the air. Then her eyes linger to his left hip. “Pardon my Lord, What is that new blade?”

Felix’s lips form a straight line as he tries not to react too outwardly. He feels his face go up a degree in temperature. She was of course talking about his most precious possession, a fine piece of craftsmanship that he would never in his life unsheathe in battle.

“Oh, th... this?” he stammers, and slowly puts a hand on the hilt, pulling the blade from its scabbard and holding it up so that it sparkles in the sun.

“Oh my…” the woman gasps, holding a hand to her mouth as she stares in awe at the weapon. 

The hilt, though mostly covered by Felix’s grip was carved in an ornate pattern and looked like the crafting of that alone must have taken weeks. The blade shone a pale tinge of lavender and practically sparkled like quartz. Only it really _was_ quartz; it had been embedded in the blade in countless tiny fragments. Some were parallel with the edge of the steel and took on the shape of scales, like a fish’s fins. The shape of the blade too was unique, running narrow halfway up and then fanning out 3 more inches wider before it came to a sharp point. In the widest area of the blade’s length was a carving of a strange and intricate crest. The blade was indeed too marvelous to be used in combat. It looked like it belonged in a display case, maybe held by a goddess statue in a church. Not on Felix Hugo Fraldarius’ hip. But this was his life now. And this probably wouldn’t be the last time he’d have to show it to someone and answer questions.

“What a magnificent blade! You’re not going to fight with it are you? Is that… _amethyst_?” the woman asks excitedly.

“No and yes,” he answers her with a scowl.

“That’s amazing…” she sighs. “The blacksmith really mixed it with the steel… If you’re not going to fight with it what will you use it for?” 

“Nothing. It’s just for show. It’s to carry around with me. That is all.” Felix mutters.

“Now why would you pay for a blade that you’d have to carry around and not use?” the woman asks him, crossing her arms in suspicion. “You should hang it on a wall! That’s not like you at all my Lord… unless you haven’t had the chance to…”

Felix scrunches up his face at her barrage of questions. Clearly the people here didn’t get the memo yet. Goddess, he’d hate to have to say it to this woman. He hadn’t gathered his feelings yet…

“I take it you haven’t heard the news…” he sighs at her, going silent to allow her to cut in and take a guess.

“The news?” she asks. “Are you referring to that strange law her Grace and his Majesty have passed? The… one involving… couples of the same sex being allowed to get _married_?”

It wasn’t the news he was referring to at all, but in a way, he’s glad the conversation was led to this topic first so that he could see her true colours. Her voice had grown bitter towards the end of her question and it takes all of Felix’s energy to hold back boiling anger building up in his throat. His lips form a thinner line as he narrows his eyes at her daringly.

“You don’t approve of this law?” he asks, his voice as cold as ice. The woman stares at him worriedly.

“My… my lord, have I offended you?” 

“Yes,” he spits back without taking a breath.

“You… you have _friends_ at Garreg Mach… I nearly forgot,” she concludes. “You must be friends with someone there that wishes to marry someone of the same sex… Aren’t you?”

This woman had not a clue how much pain her ignorant words inflicted.

“Yes, you could call it that,” Felix lies. “I’d watch what else you say about it.”

“P-Please forgive me, my Lord,” the woman stammers. “I mean no offence… obviously, people deserve to be tied to the ones they love…” she trails off.

Felix is hoping this will be the end of it, but clearly, the woman has no understanding of the concept that to say ‘no offence was meant’ does nothing for the contents of the argument and their effects on the recipient. She pauses before she continues.

“My only concern is...or rather, my _issue_ with this law…” the woman says slowly, as if choosing her words carefully, as if it would even make any difference. “... is that it enables people to end their family tree. No carrying on bloodlines or crests. If there are no others in the families to have normal marriages and have children, the families end with that relationship. It’s most disrespectful to the families carrying crests. Such a waste, all that work to be snuffed out. Anyone who’d throw away their crest in marriage...why… the thought is so infuriating. For people to do that to their ancestors is so incredibly _selfish_.”

“You know what? I just decided you don’t need to know what this sword is for,” Felix responds firmly, choking down the violent, blood-curdling scream he wants to let out in response to everything this wretch has just said. With a flick of his wrist, he returns the blade to its scabbard and nods at her robotically. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Without giving her the time to respond, Felix trudges away, walking as fast and urgently as his legs can take him. If he had spent even a minute longer in front of that close-minded fool, there was no telling what curses and slurs would come pouring out of his mouth.

He had never felt so insulted in his entire life. Well… maybe the pain was the same as when his old man had praised Glenn’s death, or when he showed in his dying words that King Dimitri meant more to him than his last living son.

_Selfish…_

The word burns into Felix’s mind like a scorching flint being pressed against the back of his tiny neck.

\--

Felix had been the opposite of selfish his entire life. He had done nothing but help his classmates that later became his comrades. He had trained tirelessly day and night so that he could be the most powerful and useful pawn in each and every battle, all with the goal set that he would live another day to train some more. He had lost nearly everything he loved and held dear in his childhood in the name of his King. Glenn, his only blood relative that he ever truly loved died protecting his King. Felix had fought a long, bloody and agonizing war in the name of his King. He had lost the last of his father’s love and respect to his King. He had put his life on the line for his fucking wretched King.

The one good deed that stupid boar had ever done was win the war with at least a shred of decency. This new law wasn't even his work. It was the love and acceptance of her Grace, Archbishop Byleth that brought the law to fruition. And it was no secret to the Blue Lion house that Byleth had proposed the new law to her husband in Felix and his partner’s honour.

Now that the war was over and Fódlan was at peace, Felix finally had the opportunity to find true happiness. When he closed his eyes, the vision of happiness came in the form of crimson locks of wavy hair, a warm smile and the soothing brisk voice of his most precious companion. He had known since they were small children that Sylvain was more than just a close friend. When they made that great promise to stay alive so that they could die together, Felix had never felt so whole. That was most likely the reason the two of them got through the battle of Enbarr with shining colours. They were an unstoppable force, fighting to protect each other’s backs, an absolute battle set. Sylvain was magnificent and gallant on his horse with that jet black armor that shone like obsidian, firing blasts of thunder and fire at their foes. And Felix with his masterful sword arm was the perfect balance to take down the enemies Sylvain was facing at close range. Through every battle, they had never left each other’s sides.

That was why it felt so unbelievably painful halfway through the war when they had come to realize their true feelings for each other; that they had apparently both been suppressing their emotions to play the part, to act in a way that everyone else would, because why in the hell would it ever be okay for them to be in love?

When they shared their first kiss with each other, Felix had felt like he was sinning, like he was doing something taboo, something that would be frowned upon by the goddess. Even so, it had felt so good, and Sylvain had chanted countless times, being the hopeless romantic he is that he felt the same way. Why stop when it felt good?

Felix had wished that they had stopped before they began, because coming face to face with what he didn’t know he needed like water in his life made it nearly impossible to give it up for the sake of family duty. He could not produce an heir unless he married a woman. This affair with Sylvain would have to come to an end along with his happiness. Felix had never been able to picture himself in a woman's arms and be happy at the same time. It just made no sense to him.

Byleth was as sharp as a bloodhound when it came to understanding what her former students were going through, whether they were vocal about it or not. She had found out about their little relationship in a matter of days and was immune to Felix’s denial when she confronted him about it. 

“What’s wrong with you two being in love?” she had asked him. “If I might be so bold, I’ve never seen you this happy.”

It had been a very bold statement and Felix’s face had reddened quite a bit at the notion that others might know. He hadn’t liked the thought.

“Do you have any idea what my old man would say if he discovered this?” he had asked her with so much pent up anger. “The filter he has when expressing how Glenn was his favourite son would come clean off. I’d never hear the end of how unworthy I am of being a Fraldarius.”

This had made his former teacher quite sad on the surface, and she was usually devoid of outward expression of emotions. Before Felix could apologize for making her so sad, she had cut him off.

“Don’t give up on this thing so soon,” she had said, smiling at him warmly. “Your life when this war is over will be yours to do with as you see fit to bring you happiness. I will not allow you to be weighed down by duties, do you understand?”

Felix had nodded to those words without giving them much thought. But the issue really came into question after Rodrigue died in Gronder field. Felix was suddenly the last member in his family alive. And no one had any say in what he would do. Additionally, the future of his lineage was in his hands.

He had made the decision at that point to continue, after Sylvain had begged him countless times. Felix had been playing it by ear, and before the war was won, he would tell himself that whatever happened after Enbarr, he would be a truer Fraldarius than his old man had ever thought him to be, no matter what decision he would make.

When Byleth had proposed marriage to the boar after the battle was won, she finally gained control of the church as the new Archbishop, and Felix had finally realized the meaning of those words she had said to him.

It wasn’t long afterwards that Sylvain had been acting strangely. He had become fidgety and his reflexes were sharper than usual, jumping or flinching at the sound of unknown footsteps. He would constantly look over his shoulder when he went to the market as if he had some urgent business there that he had to hide. Well, Felix hadn’t been far from the truth. Sylvain was paying large sums of bullion to get some miners handy to gather him some quartz. He had researched for hours in the library on the science of melting metals and rocks. He had drawn up such an elaborate blueprint of that most exquisite blade months in advance and paid more gold than anyone in Garreg Mach had ever paid to a blacksmith to make sure they would get the job done and get it done well. As soon as he had the archbishop’s blessings, it was as if Sylvain was two steps ahead.

The rumours about the unknown masterful blade being forged for a mysterious client spread like a virus throughout the monastery walls. Felix had been intrigued by the idea that someone would go to so much trouble to have such an expensive blade forged but be completely secret about it.

It was during the reception of Archbishop Byleth and King Dimitri’s wedding that Sylvain was finally his cocky, easygoing self again, almost like what he had been so worried about had turned out to be nothing to fret over. Felix thinks back to how the redhead stumbled out of his chair at their table when her Grace called his name and mentioned how he had a few words he wanted to say to quiet the crowd.

And Sylvain was such a sly dog. He had played Felix like a fiddle, and started limping over to the table at the front of the reception room where all the wedding gifts were placed, wincing in pain from his battle wound that seemed to take forever to heal. Automatically, Felix had jumped out of his chair, cursing him under his breath while rushing to his side to hold his arm for support.

“Felix, stay here. I want to show you something,” he had said, his voice so soft and full of meaning that Felix had yet to understand.

“What? Why? She said you had a few words! I haven’t prepared anything, _idiot_!” 

Sylvain’s smile in that moment casted such a powerful wave of comfort and safety over Felix that it had suddenly dawned on him - Sylvain was up to something important.

Lo and behold, Sylvain had reached for that box, the box clearly shaped to hold a sword and slid it over to him before saying quietly and urgently, “open it.”

Felix had been hesitant at first but decided not to make a scene in front of everyone they knew and finally lifted the lid to reveal the most beautiful sword he had ever seen in his life. The realization hit him instantly that this was the very sword the entire kingdom was talking about and Sylvain was the mysterious client. 

“Is that _amethyst_?…?” he had choked out, trying to hold back tears.

“Ya, your birthstone,” the redhead had chuckled with an amorous smile.

“But...Sylvain, why? What would I _use_ this for?” Felix had argued stupidly.

“I would have gotten you a ring but I know how much of a sword connoisseur you are,” Sylvain had answered, his words as soft as silk.

And then came the waterfalls. All the tension from fears that their love was just a short affair and feeling like he would never amount to anything were gone in an instant. It had been Felix’s happiest and most embarrassing day all at once. Sobbing like a babe in front of everyone at the wedding, holding the most thoughtful and beautiful engagement present any man could ever ask for.

Byleth was a woman of her word and she signed the bill along with her new husband the very next morning, so that everyone in the kingdom could shut their mouths about questioning if the heirs of Gautier and Fraldarius were even _allowed_ to wed.

And from that day on, Felix had worn that precious sword on his hip with great pride. It was much better than a ring. He never understood how people could wear rings and not feel uncomfortable when trying to do anything with their hands. That’s why Felix was so happy it was Sylvain he had chosen to hitch his wagon to, because Sylvain understood him better than anyone else. A sword worth as much as a diamond ring in its beauty and thoughtful craftsmanship was the single best thing for Felix to show off. 

\--

There is just one problem, that problem finally becomes apparent as Felix storms through the streets of that small Fraldarius village. A sword is not an obvious symbol of engagement. No one will ever guess Felix is engaged unless he outwardly tells them that it is in fact an engagement _sword_.

If Felix had been wearing a diamond ring, would the woman have put two and two together and realized she was discouraging her liege in his relationship? Or would she have blindly assumed that Felix would never stoop so low to end the Fraldarius name to be with the man he loves?

Felix will never know, but he decides he’d rather not be in the area when she gets the news of their engagement. He would rather not see that look on her face; a mixture of guilt, confusion, disgust and contempt all rolled into one.

After all that, he’ll still have to invite her to their wedding, because she had been a loyal friend to the Fraldarius family for so many years. Felix slows his pace and lets out a chuckle. Somehow, the idea of that woman being in one of the pews in the Garreg Mach cathedral watching him walk down the aisle to meet up with his groom, after all the hateful things she had said… it is simply the funniest thing he’s thought of all day.

**Author's Note:**

> Ya, just a short story that flooded my mind today. Thank god for boring days at work, am I right? 
> 
> Though the idea of Sylvain having a special engagement sword forged for Felix came to me much, much earlier. I still plan to draw a comic about it. 
> 
> I also wanna draw a few scenes in this, too lazy to do the whole thing. (That's why I wrote the fic instead~)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Please comment, I need to know if I suck as a writer or not. XD
> 
> If you wanna go on and on about Sylvix with me or see my Sylvix fluff and smut art, follow me on twitter @jusbene. I don't bite ;)


End file.
